now i know why i became what i already was.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My ass is underappreciated
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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