nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
