so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
