i don't like sucking hair
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I will be naked everywhere
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
