a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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