her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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