Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
