You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
