I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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