Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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