wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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