Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He felt like a one man threesome
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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