I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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