Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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