we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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