Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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