I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
