i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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