Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
time to smoke my breakfast
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
