I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
