YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
