okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
