Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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