I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
