Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
