"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
