i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
