Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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