I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
