It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
