I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
