He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
