Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
