never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
