The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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