Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
