apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i drank out of a bidet.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
