Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
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