I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
