I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
