i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
