i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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