I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
