I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
