just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
