I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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