Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
