I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
