so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
