PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
