I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize