i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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