You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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