Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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