Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
