I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My dick has a subreddit
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
