we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
