How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
