We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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