My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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