did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
