Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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